One More Chance by Jaycelle Rodriguez

"Sam? What are you doing here, sweetie?"

| took a deep breath when | heard my mother's voice. | slowly turned to her and smiled. | was sitting on the edge

of the pool, staring at the stars as what happened in court this morning kept coming back to me, especially the

sadness in Luke's eyes. "Mom," | uttered giving her a sad smile.

She sat down next toand handedthree cans of beer--- much to my surprise.

"Ohh... what is this?" | asked, surprised.

"Beer," she shrugged.

"Mom, | know, but--—-

"Tss! Just open it and drink and stop asking questions, Sam."

| couldn't help but chuckle as she started opening the first of her three cans.

"Hmm... don't you know the saying about beers, baby?"

| stopped opening the can in my hand and looked at her.

"What saying?" | asked her confused.

"That there is no problem in this world that cannot be solved by a beer." She shrugged and | chuckled looking

back at the beer in my hands.

How | wish after drinking those beers all my problems even the heaviness in my chest disappears.

"I'm just kidding, I just want to see you smile."

And again, a sad smile curled up against my lips as | looked back at her.

"Mom,"

"How are you, | mean, how is your heart?"

I sighed at her simple question. How are you? Well, how would | suppose to answer that question?

"I don't know." | shrugged. "Honestly, | don't know, Mom. | don't know how | feel, | mean, | don't know what to

feel. Should | be happy? Should | be celebrating---1 don't know." Tears suddenly formed around my eyes, but |

immediately blinked them away.

"Haist... chere," she opened her arms and | shifted closer to her. She put down the can of beer and hugged

me. "Ohh... my baby, it's all soon gonna be alright. When the tis right and the wound has already healed,

everything is going to be alright. Everything will be back to normal as if nothing had happened."

"Do you think so?"

"Hmhm."

I don't know how long we stayed in that position, but later | went back to my old sitting position and started

drinking the first can of beer.

"You know what, Mom, I don't know what's wrong with me.

| really tried my best to move on while | was in New York and God knows how much | tried to forget him, but

nothing happened. Nothing has changed with my feelings with him even just a little. He was my first love, my

first in everything." She said nothing and just staring at me.

"I loved him so much back then and |

still love him until now." | paused as | sighed. "Every t| see him, | wanted to run into his arms, hug him and

tell him that my heart still aches for him, it's just that..." | turned to her. "Every t| tried and thought about all

the good things we shared together, it was also when the scene of him cheating in front ofran back to my

head and suddenly I felt like a burning candle, slowly fading again just like what | felt the first t| knew he was

doing things

behind me."

| ended my sad speech with tears running down my cheeks and then brought the beer to my mouth. And since |

still got no response, | glanced at her only to find her smiling and | frowned.

"Mom, I'm crying my heart out here, but you're smiling?" | asked frowning as I dried my tears.

"It's because I'm happy."

And that made my frown deeper.

"Don't get it wrong, my baby. I'm your mother, so the pain | feel is double when I see you hurt or even cry. It's

just that in the middle of this chaotic moment in your life, as a mother, | couldn't help but feel proud because

you have beca courageous and resilient woman and | see it from the way you deal with the situation you

are in."

She said caressing my face.

"I remember when you were younger, the only thing you complained towas about how your classmate didn't

let you participate in their play or when someone in your class told you that you were his crush, you know, those

simple matters, but now | can see how you've changed. My baby is no longer a baby."

She sighed before continuing.

"You know what, despite everything you've been through, the almost unending pain, heartaches and challenges

in your life, I'm proud of what you have become. I'm proud of what you've done, the decision you've made. Yeah,

maybe you're just in the first stage of moving on and | know how difficult it is for you, but as they say, you will

never know the power of yourself until someone hurts you badly...

For now, you couldn't help but cry

because you're hurting. You're sad and upset because of what

happened, but believe me, if you slowly learn to let go of all the grudges in your heart against the past you will

heal. But in order to heal, you have to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear and start forgiving the people---

or should I say the person who hurt you but most importantly, yourself...

You also need to forgive yourself because forgiveness is not only for the people who hurt you, but it's your gift to

yourself. It's the best gift you can give to yourself, Sam. And trust me, when the day comes and that you've

finally moved on and have finally forgiven yourself and him, a smile will creep into your lips and you won't be

able to hide it. You will be grateful that you've finally overcthis matter and that it made you braver and a

better

person."

And with what she had said, | couldn't help but smile. After emptying the first can...

"I love you, Mom."

"Ohh... I love you too, sweetie." She kissedon the forehead. "Tsk. tsk. Don't cry because it's over, smile

because it happened.